Alright! Lets get this post over with so I can get back to my creative roots! Don't get me wrong, terminology is important- but I feel like I'm writing a book report. I hate to just feed people facts- I prefer to write whatever comes to mind. This is putting a damper on my creativity ;) So let's go!
Now, I'm not going to go over EVERY single term there is when it comes to BDSM. There are way too many! I will go over what I think are the most important and most commonly used to get you started. I'll also post a few links for you all to look at that go into more detail about the lifestyle and each individual fetish and such. Ready?! I'm ready!!!
FYI- these are my definitions. Others opinions may differ.
BDSM- an acronym that stands for B&D- bondage and discipline, D&S- Dominance and submission, S&M- sadism and masochism. It refers to the acts of, or participating in activities that include: bondage (being restrained, physically, by devices such as rope or cuffs), discipline (the process of punishing or being punished), dominance and submission, sadism and masochism (which I will go over in a bit)
Top- a person who takes on the dominant role for the duration of a scene. The one administering the bondage, discipline etc. (Not to be confused with a Dom, generally this only refers to a particular scene and not a relationship between a Dom and sub)
Bottom- a person who takes on the submissive role for the duration of a scene. The one on the receiving end of bondage, discipline etc. (Not to be confused with a sub, generally this only refers to a particular scene and not a relationship between a Dom and sub)
Sadism- deriving pleasure from causing pain, suffering or cruelty.
Masochism- receiving pleasure from mental, emotional or physical pain or humiliation.
Dominant- (Dom) refers to a person that takes control of a person or situation through usage of some means (physical, mental, financial) or to exercise this power. A person who exercises this power on a regular basis outside of BDSM scenes. (Dom for a man; Domme or Dominatrix for a woman)
Submissive- the act of yielding to something or someone. A person who submits on a regular basis outside of BDSM scenes that retains freedoms and rights.
Master- one that has control of another, generally a slave. The owner or keeper of property. (usually this is a long term relationship; a serious commitment where there are detailed contracts or agreements)
Slave- generally refers to a very involved D/s relationship. A person who has surrendered their personal property and freedoms to another. The difference between a slave and a submissive is the degree of submission.
Switch- a person who has a preference for being both submissive and dominant in their BDSM activities. Usually not at the same time. They may be submissive with one individual and dominant with another.
Daddy- a dominant individual who is a father figure to the submissive. Also can refer to a sensual Dom, one who is more into nurturing.
24/7- stands for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It identifies a relationship with round the clock Dominant and submissive dynamics.
TPE (total power exchange)- refers to a relationship where the Dominant has complete authority and influence over the submissives life, making the majority of decisions.
Fetish- attraction or attachment to an idea or object.
Scene- a division of time that encapsulates a BDSM activity, ranging from a few minutes to several hours. Also can be used as a verb; to "scene" with someone implies you have been or will be involved with someone for the scene. Also can refer to the BDSM community.
Munch- a gathering of people into BDSM usually in a vanilla setting such as: at a restaurant, coffee shop to meet and talk.
Dungeon- refers to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space.
Play Party- a BDSM event where many people engage in "scenes".
Safeword- a word or phrase used for communication in a scene. Most commonly it is used by the submissive to end a scene because of pain or other problems. A lot use three terms: green (meaning "go ahead. I'm fine") yellow (meaning "slow down") and red (meaning "stop immediately"). Or you may establish a safeword you prefer before a scene.
Sub space- a natural high a submissive gets during a scene or when being controlled. Subs may feel disconnected from time, space and or their bodies.
Limit- an activity a person will refuse to participate in. (hard limits are limits that are firm, and not mutable with circumstances. Soft limits are limits that are negotiable under certain circumstances)
SSC- stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual.
Vanilla- a term coined by the BDSM community to describe "normal" (non- BDSM) folks.
I hope this helps the newbies out there a little :)
Below I have included a few links I feel are interesting and helpful.
http://www.bdsm-education.com/terminology.html A short list of terms
http://www.differentequals.com/glossary.html A list including numerous fetishes
http://soj.org/ Society of Janus- a site EVERYONE should visit. They are a not-for-profit organization in San Francisco devoted to educating and supporting people who are interested in learning about BDSM.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this post. I know I will have much more fun writing my next post: what submission is and what it is not. Coming soon!