Thursday, July 21, 2011

Independent or Stubborn?

I was scolded, actually scolded the other night for completing a project on my own without asking for help. That's a first! I bought a little desk so I had a place to do my magic- writing! I had to put it together, simple right? It was the kind that didn't even have written directions, just pictures with arrows and letters and numbers. I figure it can't be that tough, I'll have it done in no time. No, no I did not. Due to my weakling arms the damn thing took forever! I was sweating like a sinner in church and felt like I had done 500 pull ups from tightening 4 screws. I had to tighten oh, about 25 of those babies.

Afterword I plopped down on my bed, hands shaky barely able to type and texted Sir "I hate manual labor!!" The really sad part- my arms were sore two days after! Hey, those screws did not want to go into the wood! Sir texts me back "Well, that's what you get for not asking for help. Miss Independent." First I had a feminist moment. Oh hell no! You think just cause I'm a woman I'm not capable of doing what a man can do? Oh, I got this! Anything you can do I can do better, Dude! No, no I can't. That explains why it took me way too long to put a desk together and ended up yelling at an inanimate object and stopped halfway through with screws screwed in halfway and said fuck it! At least it's standing! That part is a shelf, it's not weight bearing, it'll hold. Threw it in the corner after I was done with it "take that bitch! That's right! I got you!"

After I got over my feminist mindset, I thought you really expect me to call you over to put a damn desk together? This is a new concept to me. The men I've been with are just as clueless about tools as I am and even more girly about some things than I am! I'm used to doing everything myself, so the thought of calling my boyfriend to help me with manual labor, never crossed my mind. I mean come on! Like you would seriously drop what you were doing, make time in your busy day and come help me put together a desk. This equation still is not computing in my head. Totally new concept.

I am more what some would call old school when it comes to gender roles. Like: women cook, clean, take care of the kids and the home. Men bring home the bacon, are the authority figure, kill bugs and open jars hehe. Growing up any manual labor that had to be done, my Dad's philosophy was- hire someone to do it! So cars, construction, plumbing, repairs, renovations- that's what the pros are for. So growing up with that and then dating nothing but geeks and pansies who didn't know a thing about using their hands to work, I learned to do things on my own. Or if I couldn't I'd pay out my nose to have someone do it that knew what the hell they were doing. So me asking Sir to help me with a simple project like putting a desk together? Really? Am I really that helpless? OK, so maybe I am! But I'll never admit it. Does that make me stubborn or independent? I say neither! If I can do it myself, why ask for help? Even if I have no idea what I'm doing, come on it can't be that tough! They call it a monkey wrench for crying out loud! Apparently it's easy enough for a monkey to do since they named a tool after the damn animal.

I hate tools! I am the least educated when it comes to tools. To me it is ridiculous. You have how many different screwdrivers? There's the straight line one and the cross shaped one. Why is there different shapes?! Then you have things that serve the same purpose of a screwdriver- they screw things in, yet they are not called screwdrivers. There's this funky looking star one which I have yet to ever use cause I have never come across a project where I needed it. But I always pick it up and think WTF is this for anyways! Please someone tell me what the hell the thing is called and what on this planet do you use it for? It's driving me crazy!! Then there is the L shaped hexagon, octagon, pentagon, heptagon, whatever the hell kinda gon thingy! Some are wrenches, some are screwdrivers. Who the hell came up with this concept? Why not make it easy? If it's a screw, does it really matter what shape is put on one end to screw it in? Make it universal! Instead of me fumbling around looking for a tool that fits into the damn groove, why not make everything a straight line! That way you got one tool that fits in every screw! No, better yet since I'm the genius that came up with the idea, make a universal tool in the shape of a butterfly and make all the screws with a butterfly shaped groove. Done! I just eliminated 50 bazillion screwdrivers, wrenches, turny thingys. No? Why not? They did it with cell phone chargers. If they can do it for something that high tech, what the hell is holding the world back on making a universal screw? Am I the only one that finds it funny the more I type screw? Let's screw! Screw you! LOL, OK sorry I get sidetracked easily.

Yeah I know, I know nothing about tools. That's why I get so pissed. Which makes for the perfect punishment. Sir seriously took me into Lowe's one day as a punishment. He took me down an aisle of metal crap and explained every little piece. Oh. My. God! This is all I heard "Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.." for at least a half hour straight. After that I still took too long to answer a question, which is why I got in trouble in the first place, so he then explained to me how sod is made- in detail. See the things I have to endure?! Yeah, punishments aren't physically painful, they're mentally painful! Spankings don't work- I misbehave to get spankings :) so that wouldn't do much good. I'm just bored to tears for punishment!

Alright, fine you want me to ask for help, I'll swallow my pride and do it. So uh, Sir will you change my oil? Hey you said to ask for help! I mean I could try if you really want me to. I'll climb under the car and make a mess of everything. But you'll end up having to fix my work anyways so why not just skip me messing it up and you just do it? No, I would never do that. I'm not that stubborn. Or am I? Hmmmm

Since you want me to ask for help Sir, you are now in charge of opening lids that are screwed on too tight, lifting heavy things, building furniture, car repairs and maintenance and killing bugs. Considering I scream like a murderer is chasing me when I see anything with more than 4 legs crawling on the ground, I'm not gonna put up a fight with the bug killing. They're all yours! You will now be the one on the other end of the phone hearing me freak out about a mutant in my house that I can't get close enough to kill cause I'm afraid it will charge, instead of my Mom. True Story. Hey, it was a mutant and it was giving me the evil eye! It might have charged!

Anyways, this got me thinking. As a girlfriend and as a sub, when does asking for help cross the line into being helpless and needy? I mean, what am I supposed to ask for help on? Am I the odd one here who is just not used to a man that actually helps and works? Or is Sir just being too much of a gentleman? Hehe, I know never such a thing as being too much of a gentleman. Sir is definitely a gentleman and I love him for that.

1 comment:

  1. lol

    I get in trouble for doing shit I 'needed' help for too. Usually lifting and moving things that are heavy enough to cause me trouble... or lifting or moving anything heavier then the cat litter these days.

    But I am so not above having someone open jars, screw things in, get things off the top shelf... and bugs. I'm an arachnophobe, so Gabe always has to get the spiders for me. eek.

    I don't think you'll ever cross the line into needy girl... because you're already very independent. That doesn't go away just because you accept the need for help. It just changes to accommodate knowing that you deserve the help. ;)