Random Ass Rants

Ever wish you had a place just to say it like it is- blow off some steam? This is my page I have dedicated just for that reason. I'll post my frustrations on here for everyone to see- no matter how bad they are. Why not? It's therapeutic.

Bitch Please  11/20/2010

Well- I have not had the best week due to some events that occured. Why is it that others can be the biggest bitches in the world- 24/7 but the minute someone comes back at them with a bitchy comment- they can't handle it and then you become the raging bitch? Wait- let me get this straight- I've been taking your put downs for years now and the minute I stand up for myself just once- I'm the bitch? Oh hell no! "If you have had an ongoing problem with things then you need to let it out and not say things in a fit of anger." Um- are you talking to me? (looks around) Me- in a fit of anger? Hahahaha- give me a sec to recover from that one. That's, that's comical! Anyone who knows me knows very well I am in no way a bitch and I overanalyze EVERYTHING! So for me to just let things fly out of my mouth out of anger- doesn't happen. I plan discussions in advance! I hold things in so much because I look for the best way to say them- why? Because I have tact- something you know nothing about apparently and I am not a bitch and I don't like to hurt peoples feelings so I try to find a way to make everything sound nice!

Ever heard of the rule- if you don't have anything nice to say- don't say anything at all? No? Well look it up! I don't want to hear how big you think my ass looks in my pants. I don't want to know what you think of my skills as a Mother. I especially don't need you interrupting me when I am in the middle of disciplining my own child and you stepping in to "help" because you can't stand a child throwing a fit. I don't want to hear about every rude thing you think of others. I don't want to sit and listen to a negative person all day! Keep it to yourself! Be happy for once! Geez! Yes- I may have a bad day every once in a while and I may say something that is not the most positive- but uh, maybe you should take a look in the mirror first and work on yourself before you start handing out advice to others. Oh- and don't bitch at me for standing up for myself when you are being a bitch yourself. Because you don't want to awaken the redheaded Irish Taurus in me! She's feisty- she bites and she doesn't give a shit about what others think of her. It takes a lot for her to come out- but when she does, you better run for cover because she is usually there to stay. Once you're on her bad side- it takes a lot to get back on her good side. If you ever do that is.

Stupid People  11/23/2010

I hate em! The people that ask those dumbass questions- the answer is so obvious or right in front of them, but they still can't comprehend it. Stop wasting my time! You are making me waste precious brain cells every time I have to answer one of your stupid ass questions. Then- I have to repeat myself because you either were not listening the first time or you are so dense that it wont sink in until I repeat myself 5 times! I feel my I.Q. dropping by the minute just standing next to you. Not to say I'm the smartest person  myself- but come on!

"Did you finish all that paperwork?" Do you see any papers lying around? No? Then that leaves two options- I either ate the papers because I was hungry or it's done and put away. Seeing as I'm not a goat- I'd go with option two. "How do I print? The computer isn't letting me print." One- it is a machine- it does what you tell it to do so apparently there is a problem with the user and not the machine! Two- you've worked here everyday for the past 7 years on the same computer, yet today you don't know how to print? What did you develop amnesia overnight?! Do you lose brain mass every time you go to sleep? Because you are getting more ridiculously stupid everyday! "Hmm- something looks different. Did you cut your hair?" Yeah and they threw in a free pair of glasses too! That's why you have never seen me wear them before. No- I didn't get a haircut, I'm wearing glasses you dumbass when I usually wear contacts. Fuckin A! I figured I didn't have to point out the difference when it is staring you right in the face! How have you survived all these years with a brain like that? I'd think natural selection would have taken you out years ago. One day you will win a Darwin Award- I just know it!

They say you either have common sense or books smarts. Well either I am ridiculously stupid in the books department because my common sense skills, when compared to yours excel! Or you really got the short end of the stick when God decided to create you. Geez! Here's a tip- before you open your mouth, stop, use the little brain power you have to think and then speak. If after that it's still a stupid question- I think I have every right to go Bam Margera on your ass and bitch slap you when you least expect it. Stop wasting my time with idiotic questions! You have been warned.

Flying Snakes 11/26/2010
OMG! Just one more thing to be worried about in life. Flying snakes! If lizards that could run on their hind legs wasn't bad enough, how about something that combines two of my phobias- flying and reptiles. I hate anything that flies like birds, bats and I can't stand reptiles- so flying snake? I'm never leaving the house again! I know, I know "Come on Mariposa. What are the chances of you ever running into a flying snake?" They live in South Asia so yes it is very unlikely that I will ever see one of the demonic creatures. But anything is possible!

All it takes is one crazy individual to be on vacation in Asia- they see a flying snake and think "Awesome! That would make one crazy ass pet." They decide to smuggle it in their luggage on the plane and no one notices it because they are too busy checking for dangerous things like scissors and hair spray that they aren't looking for flying snakes! Bam- flying snake in the U.S. Then they decide to breed these putrid things because they think they will make a lot of money then next thing you know there is an overabundance of flying snakes in the U.S. just like cats and dogs. So there would be stray flying snakes around everywhere. Just picture it- you're at the park having a picnic with the kiddies- a flying snake jumps from a tree and wraps around your neck and strangles you right in front of the children. Then the children are scarred for life and need years and years of therapy. Do we really need to have something like that in this world capable of such things? Why? Why have flying snakes?! Who's idea was this? Huh?

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