There's no handbook on the right way to have a D/s relationship. There's no right or wrong way to go about it. But if you had talked to some of the people I have over the past year, you'd think the same thing as me- What a bunch of fucking hypocrites!!!
Before you get all defensive, allow me to explain. If you don't know already, I can be a bit sassy. Just a bit. D/s to me is all mental. It's not the spankings or bondage or sex that draws me to it- it's the mental aspect. I think of a scene as a mental game. So, I think of myself as more of an active player than most subs. I, uh, push buttons. I rile people up, get em thinking! It's fun! But to some, that take things WAY too seriously, say I'm the type of sub they don't want their sub hanging around with because I'm a "bad influence". Yes! I have actually been told that.
I mean, yeah so I'm not your typical sub. So what? So I'm a sassy pants. I've been known to say things like "No!" ,"why?", "yes Sir" in a sarcastic tone and an eye roll, "make me", "bring it on!", "what are you going to do about it?". When I get bored I break rules on purpose to get a punishment. I fail tasks on purpose to see what punishment your devious little mind can come up with. I sit and think of loopholes for given rules to get around them. I argue technicalities. If at all possible at times, I will avoid answering a yes or no question with yes or no to get out of saying Sir. I wrestle when I'm trying to be held down. I fight when trying to be put in bondage. I've been threatened with a gag many a times in order to stop my sassy, yet very witty comebacks if I do say so myself. I steal spanking implements out of peoples hands and run away with them knowing I will be caught and the spanking will be that much more severe. (note to self: when in unfamiliar territory, don't steal wooden spoon out of Sir's hand and run in the opposite direction down a hall. You will end up cornered and Sir will have two more spoons in his hands and will then have three wooden spoons to beat your ass with when he prys the other our of your hand.) Fun times.
Now after hearing all that, some of you may be thinking what others have already told me. "You sure you're a sub?", "You know nothing of the lifestyle. It's not for you. Subs don't intentionally disobey. That's disrespectful and immature and there's no place for that here.", "You're wrong in your thinking. That's not how things work.", "If you ever want to find a Dom you need to stop all the bullshit and behave.", "who wants a sub that fights you the whole way?" I'll tell you who- my Sir, that's who.
My Sir, my Love says he wouldn't change a thing about me. It may not work for others, but it works for us. So all you that say "there is no right or wrong way to have a D/s relationship" then 5 sentences later say "oh, subs don't act that way" stop contradicting yourselves!!! I'm done apologizing for being the way I am. I am embracing my sassiness and if you don't like it, good! Cause I'm not your sub anyway! I'm Sir's sub and he wants me just as I am. Sassy mouth and all. Over thinker, dramatic, pissy, spitfire sassy pants that I am.
What you all don't know- for every sassy comment that I make, I have just as many moments where I am what some would call the "perfect subbie". And you know what? Sir is the only one that gets that side of me. For one, most don't stick around long enough for me to get to that point with them and because he is my Sir. I am his completely. He has earned my submission and I freely give him my gift. he cares for me and protects me like no other ever has. We started this journey of D/s together and to be able to experience the things we have- there's no comparison. It has brought us so close not only as Dom/sub but as lovers as well.
So who wants a sassy bitch for a sub? I don't give a fuck who does. All I know is Sir wants me just the way I am. So all you out there that don't approve- who fucking cares!!! This is me and I'm done apologizing for who I am- no more! I'm a sassy pants today and I'm sure I will be till the day I die.