Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Fantasy Is Ruined!!!!!

We all have fantasies. Generally they follow us through the years. Some of us are even lucky enough to have those fantasies fulfilled. Fulfilling your fantasy can go one of two ways: it can be even better than you ever thought possible......or it can be an epic fucking fail! Looking at the title- you can see how my fantasy turned out. Actually, my fantasy came to a screeching halt before it even started! Let's sit and laugh at my woes, shall we?

In our lives I believe you only meet a handful of people that really get to you. They effect you in ways you can't explain. You just know you want them and will do anything to get them. I met such a man, well at the time boy, about 12 years ago. I was a teenager, very naive. I was at the park with my BFF (yep the slutty one) and we met up with her friends- of course, two boys. I remember the first time I heard his voice. I wasn't even looking at him, I hadn't even noticed him. But I heard this melodic, masculine voice. Immediately the hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I thought of that voice whispering naughty things in my ear. (what! Where did that thought come from! I was a virgin at the time, knew nothing about sex) He had a voice made for dirty talk. Then my eyes locked with his- instant lust! I saw it in his eyes as well.

While we were all sitting there talking he used some corny pickup line on me. Gah- I hate those things! But it made me laugh and to this day I still remember it. I had on a shirt that said "dream"- right across my breasts of course! So, how could he miss it ;) After talking for a while he leaned over and said "Dream huh? Are you a dream or are you for real? Cause if you're a dream, I never want to wake up." I blushed- cause I was like 16! But inside I was laughing hysterically. I looked up at him and he winked, showing me he was kidding. That made me like him that much more. I love when someone can make me laugh and doesn't take life too seriously.

After a while we went our separate ways. Later that day my BFF called Mr....lets call him brown eyes. He had the most beautiful brown eyes! So later on, my BFF called up Mr. Brown eyes. He immediately asked if I was with her. My friend handed the phone to me "hey dream girl!" that was my nickname from then on. For months we talked on the phone everyday, for hours at a time. He said things that turned me on, frightened me and spoke of things I knew nothing about. But one thing was for sure- we wanted each other, with a burning need. But he was a few years older than me. At 16 it was quite the age difference. Now, it would be nothing.

Even with the age difference we couldn't keep our hands off each other when we were around one another. I remember the first time I kissed him. I can't even put into words how intense it was! You know how people describe kisses that are better than sex? How just a kiss can satisfy them? That's how he kissed! The chemistry was so thick that you could cut it with a knife when our lips met. To this day- I judge all other kisses by his kiss. That's how intense it was! I didn't just want to kiss him- I wanted to crawl under his fucking skin, wanted to be one with him. God- just thinking about it right now has me excited. OK, moving on!

Mr. Brown eyes was always a gentleman. Well, when it came to saying no ;) he was in no way gentleman. He was a naughty, dirty, perverted boy that turned me to mush. But when I would be begging for him to "just take me already!" He would always say no- because of the age difference....and that I was a virgin and "deserved better than to be taken in such a way". Well, screw you buddy! :p We went our separate ways after a while. I got tired of being denied something I wanted so bad. But I still thought of him often. He starred in many a fantasy over the years. I vowed that if I ever ran into him later in life- I would show him just how grown up I was and fuck his brains out! I couldn't help but think "if just him kissing me feels that good- how amazing would it be if we actually had sex?! We would light the sheets on fire!" So I had many fantasies of meeting him again after years of not seeing one another and all the things that we would do to one another. But I never thought I would actually ever run into him again in life. I mean, what are the chances right? Jump ahead a few years......

As you all know, I have a daughter. She is in preschool now. I work in her class often and am very close to a few of the other Moms. One in particular, I am very close to. (know where this is going yet? lol) Well, we talk about significant others quite often. The Mom I am closest to, her husband lets just say he is very overprotective and....just, odd in my opinion! Well, just based on what she says about him. So- about three weeks ago I go on a camping trip with a few of the Mom's from preschool. I carpool with my close friend. We took my car- so I had to pick her up. She gives me the address and her home phone number to call her when I am on my way. Guess what? Same phone number and address as Mr. Brown eyes! My heart skipped a beat. Holy fucking shit!! No, maybe she just lives in the house that he used to live in and she happened to get his old phone number or something. It can't really be my hot fantasy man. No fucking way!

So I go to pick up my friend. I drive up to the house- yep, that's his house alright! I start praying to whatever higher force is out there that he doesn't open the door! That's all I can do at that point! I know he is my close friend's husband- so there goes my years of fantasizing. No way I'm making a move on her husband! I walk up to the door. Please, please! Just don't let him open the door!!! I don't even want to see him! If I see him then who knows what my hormones will make me do! I knock- someone opens the door, it's a man. But a man I don't recognize phew! It's not him. Thank god! The man does a double take- then I look at him more closely. Oh shit! It IS him! I'd know those eyes anywhere. OK- so maybe he wont notice that its me! I look a little different. Yeah, he wont know its me. I'm good. As I'm thinking that he does like a triple, quadruple take. Then I see in his eyes that he knows exactly who I am. Fuck! Just run back to the car! Just go! Get away from him, now! I walk back to the car as fast as I possibly can. And I'll tell you why....

So, if my fantasy man being married to a close friend wasn't bad enough. I mean, my fantasies had all been crushed the minute I found that out. Life decided to take my crushed fantasies and completely obliterate them!! How so? The man that I had such chemistry with, who is only 6 years older than looks like he's fucking 30 years older than me! WHAT!!! What the hell happened?! My fantasy is ruined!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just ruined- squashed, eliminated, eradicated, annihilated!!!

Yet another reason why I try not to fantasize! Things are never as good in real life! OK, so that's not entirely true- but in this case IT SO IS!!!

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