All you subs out there- have you ever had the urge to just turn the tables with your Dom and grab them by the hair, slam them against a wall and say "now who's in charge? Huh? That's right- I am." No? Hmmmm- guess I'm the only one then. Don't get me wrong- I am very, very submissive. I love, love, love a dominant man. But lately I have just had the itch to try my hand at being the dominant one. I have always had a little bit of the devil in me. I think that's why I tend to not be your perfect little sub. I'll test to see what the punishment will be or misbehave on purpose to egg on my Dom a little and make them use force to show me exactly who's in charge.
It cracks me up. When I chat with someone who doesn't know me very well yet and they mention some form of pain- whether it be a flogger, crop or paddle (actually- I freakin hate paddles!) They mention it like it scare me. Like as a punishment, or talk about tying me up with rope- ooh daunting? No- not for me. I hate to break it to you but those things don't scare me- they excite me to no end! No form of pain scares me anymore- I don't see it as a punishment. Like I said- I have a little of the devil in me, I'll do things on purpose to get a spanking! But- no I wouldn't say I'm a pain slut! I enjoy pain- but not at the level that a lot do! OK- so maybe I am a little bit of a pain slut- just a little. I wouldn't use the word slut- how about pain enthusiast? I only enjoy it if it adds to the pleasure- I don't just like pain for pain. There is a difference.
So anyways- Sir K, definitely a Dom. But he does enjoy his submissive side from time to time. But in our relationship there's no question he's the Dom. But I know he enjoys a dominant woman as well. Plus, since I have that little evil streak in me and my imagination- I figure it might be fun to take control at least once. So I decided at Christmas- hey! I'll get leather gloves! I know how Sir loves the feel of leather on skin. He he- I can tease him and get him so hot. Wait! I forgot- I'm the sub. Dammit!!! Ahh! I can try my hand at domination- we kind of discussed it a little before! I've been wanting to try. :) Then the wheels started turning! Oh, did I come up with some great ideas! I'm not saying what they are on here though- If I want to go through with those ideas in the future they need to stay secret.
I came up with this big elaborate plan- his ass was mine! I knew I'd have him begging for me. But as the day for me to execute my plan got closer and closer- I got less and less confident. What if I'm the worst Domme ever?! He may be bored out of his mind. What if I do something he's not into? That isn't really something we have discussed- his fetishes when it comes to being dominated. I never had to worry about it before! But I wasn't going to sit down and ask him because that would totally ruin the surprise of it all. I wanted it to be a total surprise- even though I think he probably had a clue of what was to come. I just hoped and prayed I was going to do things he enjoyed. If not- of course there's always the safe word!
I'm a planner! So I sat down, thought about the dialect, if I would be a hardcore Domme or more of a sensual Domme. I admit- to me it seems very empowering and hot to be a very strong Domme- but I don't see myself that way. I'd love to do that- but honestly when it comes down to it I don't have a sadistic bone in my body. I'm a masochist through and through. But when it comes to actually dishing out pain- that's so not me. I'm afraid I'll hurt the person! But not in a good way. Pain in a sensual way? Now we're talking! More like you're so turned on it hurts? Yeah, that's what I like. That's what I'll do! I'll tease him with pleasure. Not so different from what I normally do! I'm a big tease, always have been. I love the feeling of knowing I'm the one that turned on another- that's empowering! I normally do it in public where they can't do anything about it- just tease with touches, kisses all night so then when we are in private they can't control the need anymore and just go crazy :)
Yes, I LOVE to tease! So, that's what I figured I'd do. The more I thought about it though, the more trouble I had with it. I started thinking- he's the Dom and I respect him and trust him and he is and always will be my Sir. I didn't want that dynamic to change. I thought- he is my Dom, so how is it possible for me to Dom my Dom?! Our dynamic may be changed forever! But I knew I wanted to at least try my hand at it- if for no other reason than to see things from his perspective in a scene. So I figured- OK, we'll go with half of my plan. I'll just ease into it, take it slow. Plus I didn't know the type of sub he was- he may give me problem after problem and not let me be in control- who knew! So I figured- alright! I'll just blindfold him and use the gloves at first- I'll bring my bondage just in case, but I'll save the rest and see how it goes. If all goes well and I enjoy it- we'll try my full plan later.
Well Sir K put me in charge of the plans for the day. I hate making decisions! Fine! So I'd grab him right when he walked through the door and show him who's in charge! Then after I wake up his hormones a little- we'll go about our day. I had some shopping to do. Needed some bras. Victoria's Secret here I come! What man would complain about seeing a girl try on lingerie? Perfect- I'll just take him with.
Instead of doing my little subbie meditation this time, I'm trying to get up the confidence to be in control. Because it all comes down to confidence. So I become my own personal cheerleader. You eat boys like him for breakfast!!!! You know you're a sexy bitch- flaunt it girl! Show him and tempt him with what he's dying to have. You know you can do this. Head up, chest out. That's right! You're in charge now! Make him beg! Knock, knock, knock!! OMG!!! I can't do this! What if he just laughs and I make a total fool of myself instead of being sexy! OK- open the damn door! He can't stand out there all day! Just do it! I open the door, he walks in "Hello Miss". Oh God! I can't! i can't! Just grab his damn shirt already and do it before you lose your chance! Before he can walk in any further I grab his shirt, close the door and push him against the door. I wanted to be much more forceful and sexy about it but lost my damn confidence. I kiss him and the whole time I'm trying to regain my confidence. It's not working so I just end the kiss and walk away like nothing happened. I had another surprise for him but it was for after our shopping. Damn confidence of mine!!!
There are three types of stores that I could spend hours in and thousands of dollars. Shoe store, make up store and lingerie store. I swear I need a whole dresser designated for panties now! I'm obsessed! So we head to Victoria's Secret- I'm surprised they don't know me by name- I'm in there enough! I figure maybe I'll try on some stuff just for fun and to tease him mercilessly. But the other half of me wants to get in and get out and go back home and fuck! I had to get some bras- see my addiction with panties- I tend to overlook bras. I have plenty, but I noticed the other day every freakin one I have is black! Cause all the cute, sexy ones are always black. So I grab black- well I bought a new outfit for BaGG this week- white. Dammit! I'm not 18, I don't run around in white tops with a black bra underneath. Sorry to me that's ridiculous! I may wear some crazy things and fetish wear but I still have fuckin class alright?
So I'm in need of a white bra- I HATE white bras. Well any form of white when it comes to lingerie. Loathe, despise, protest! Don't like it one bit- makes me think of granny panties! Oh and nude? Don't even get me started on that! Girdle anyone? So not sexy- even worse that white! The only damn nude that is going on me is if it has a colored lace over it! Colors, textures people! Not cotton and not plain. Blah! So I am very disappointed to have to buy a damn white bra! I start looking for white- I can't do it! I just can't buy a white one- cotton, fine! I'll settle for cotton, but white! Not happening! Oh, zebra! Well, that's kinda white. Plus my dress is black and white, so I'm just coordinating! Oooh- leopard and hot pink together? My two weaknesses! I have to get it! Dammit- push up bras with like a mattress worth of padding! I don't do padding. Very thin padding? Fine- but I don't do the freakin kind that lift and give even Gweneth Paltrow cleavage! That's one flat chick! I'm not part of the itty bitty titty committee OK?
I grab my treasures and head for the dressing room. Oh! I want THAT bra dammit! But it's not what I need, but soooo more my style. I want it!!! It's pink with a nude lace over it. I love lace! I walk away mourning my separation from the lace- stupid zebra! So I go into the dressing room- I'm expecting Sir K to follow me in- What?! You don't want to see? What you waiting for an invitation or something? This is Victoria's Secret after all- you can come in. Meh- not like they're sexy bras anyways- fine don't come in. Plus at that point I just want to get the shopping over with. I'm a damn sex crazed woman alright? It's been too fuckin long! I'm not a once a month or once a week type of girl. Hell, I'm not even a once a day type of girl! I'm a anytime, as many times as we can handle in one day type. But considering I actually have responsibilities and a life- much to my dismay I can't spend my life in bed! So I rush as fast as I can and try on the bras. OK- let's go!!!
We do a bit more shopping and grab a bite to eat while I try and gain back my confidence. I'm just nervous thinking about how my subbie ass is going to be all Domme! I keep hopping back and forth. I can do this! You're such a sub! No, I got this! No you don't you pansy! Oh, I'm so capable! Please, you'll just make him laugh! Can't do it. Oh yeah I fuckin can! We head back to the house. At that point I'm thinking there is now way I can go through with my plan! BUT- I could at least show him the surprise! So I take him back to the bedroom where his surprise is. The reason I had the surprise ready was because I needed it for my original plan. But there are other benefits that come with it :)
As I said before I moved out of my house so it is pretty much empty. Hardly any furniture left- no bed! It's fun and all coming up with different ways to go about play- but come on. Beds are awesome! So without a bed I had to get creative. One day I was thinking about my plan and bam! Idea!!! Air mattress!!! Not the best but it will do. So I set it all up. Got out my 800 count Egyptian cotton sheets- hey! They feel wonderful on your skin! Bought some pillows- yes I bought pillows. But I needed new pillows anyways, so it just gave me an excuse to buy them. So I take Sir back to the bedroom "A bed to cuddle!" "Awesome!" thank God! he doesn't think it's cheesy! But you know- beds are good for other things besides cuddling. I'm just saying ;) We are both very cuddly people. We had talked a few days before that about cuddling- what am I talking about? We are always talking about cuddling! Anyways- one of our many conversations about wishing we were able to cuddle up in bed lead me to the cuddling idea! Hence- pillows.
So we lay down to cuddle- but honestly the last thing on my mind is cuddling! So after a few minutes I get up and go get my brand new crop- lets break this puppy in! It's been waiting for like a damn month, sitting there just begging to be used! I lay back down- not like I'm gonna walk in, pull my pants down and hand him the crop! Geez- give me some credit. I cuddle up next to Sir K- then the debate in my head starts again. Should I go through with my surprise or not? Yes, do it! No not happening. Yes, yes! No. Yes. No, no, no. Yes, no, no, yes! I tell him I'll give him his present- but that I'm not going through with my big plan. "Why not?" You'll laugh at me! "Come on" Jesus! Fine! So help me if you laugh! That's the point I literally start shaking in my boots. I'm so not a Domme!!!! Plus- what if I bore you to death?! I'll never live down that embarrassment! OK, it's now or never. Just do it!
So I grab my scarf, not just good for keeping necks warm. They can be used as blindfolds also! I straddle him and put the scarf over his eyes as best I can with shaky hands! OK- actually a little more confident since he can't see me :) I put on my gift- leather gloves. Come to find out- you know how long I looked online for some damn leather gloves?! You'd think you would be able to find simple leather gloves on any fetish wear site right? I mean- they make everything in leather! Everything! But when you go to look for gloves- nothing. Only if they have spikes or fingerless gloves- really?! Or they are all the fake stuff. What?! I wanted cute gloves- not some damn manly gloves! Jesus! I had to go to the store- there I am in the aisle trying on gloves and stroking my arm to see which are the softest- really?! The things I do. I walked to the register feeling like everyone knew what I was going to do with those gloves. I'm looking around like I'm a teenage boy buying Playboy! But honestly it was a little exciting buying them and knowing I was the only one who knew their true purpose. It was very empowering.
I pull off his pants and boxers. I ask him "Do you know what I have planned?" "No, all I know is my cock is exposed." He he- evil grin. Please- like you don't know! Well if he doesn't he'll know in a few seconds. I hesitate- OMG! Can't do it! Can't do it! OK, so you can't leave him just lying there- do it already! I start on his legs and work my way up and across his chest. Wow- very responsive :) Now I'm enjoying the hell out of myself! Dammit- if I would have known I liked seeing his reactions so much I would have gone through with my plan. I run my fingers all over his chest, legs, hips, thigh, balls, cock. You should have seen his reaction to that one! My whole purpose was to have him so hot that he couldn't control himself. I bite his neck; I slap his thigh- the more he reacts the more into I get. Now, I'm not a sadist in the least. So I admit I was probably way too timid when it came to the smacks. But I was afraid I'd hurt him and not in a good way! Plus- I'm not sure at this point how much pain he actually likes.
I honestly didn't know I would enjoy his reactions as much as I did- I loved it! Knowing I was the one pleasing him. Knowing my hands were the ones teasing and torturing him. Knowing he wanted ME. God it was empowering!!!! I could tell he was completely hot so I decide to be nice. Next time I may not be. I straddle him and pull the blindfold off. I kiss him- God damn! If you kiss me like that again I'm going to lose my control here. I try to stay calm and in charge but I just want to devour him! But I hold it together. The interesting thing- I felt in control, but at the same time I didn't. Like I called the shots but it was only because he was letting me- so it still kind of felt like he was the Dom. Which honestly for me made it even hotter. I knew any point he wanted to he could just take control and I wouldn't fight him. It was almost like he was giving me a gift- letting me do what I wanted to him even though I know it took all his self control to not just grab me and take over.
Sir K said "I just want to grab you right now and fuck you. But I'm not going to, this is your show." Mmmmmmmm- Don't say things like that! Or else the subbie will come out! I bite his neck some more and kiss him and rub against his cock. I ask him "What are you thinking?" "I want to be inside you, I want you." All you had to do was ask nicely :) I'm still calm. So I say "Show me how bad you want me." Jesus someone unleashed a wild animal in my house! Oh- totally lost my Domme mindset at that point! He grabbed me and just went bananas on my neck, biting. Dear God! Now we're talking! You know how long I've tried to get him that crazy and insane with lust? Yes! Now we're talking! He spanks me and scratches me. I totally get lost in the moment. He pulls my hair, HARD and bites my neck and rubs against me. You've been hiding this side this whole time? I feel cheated!!! I love it! "Is that bad enough?" Mother of all that is holy! You could say so! I try to stay calm- "yeah" "Now show me how bad you want me." All I can do cause I'm in shock of the damn animal attach is stand up and take off my panties, I don't say a word.
I sit back down on the bed and try to straddle him- he pushes me down to suck his cock. Now generally I don't want someone pushing my head down further on their cock. Usually I like to do it at my own pace. But God if I didn't love his hand pulling my hair harder than he normally does and pushing my head down hard on his cock. Talk about control! I love, love, love very dominant men. So to see a side of Sir K I'd never seen before- OMG! All I have to say is that better not be a one time thing! I loved it! He pulled my head up by my hair- I take that as you want me? Either way it's happening whether you want it to or not! I straddle him again. Yeah- I'm not even going to try and describe this part. Let's just say pelvic bone- SORE! That's all you get ;)
After he grabs me and flips me over, grabs the crop and spanks me. My first experience with crops- nice. Not as stingy as I thought at first- but then again apparently he started out light! It could go from not so uncomfortable- more like a tap to a stingy swat that made me jump! I was shaking by the end of that spanking session- and my neck is still in disarray! But I love it!!!!
Just writing about this is making me all out of breath again. It was- hot! Now that I know more what to expect being in the dominant role and know more my "style" I feel a bit more comfy with it and would love to experiment with it more. Just from time to time- it actually gave me a little boost of confidence. Makes me feel sexy and desirable. But I definitely wouldn't say I'm a switch- I am such a sub. But it was a lot of fun and it still filled that need to please that I have as a sub because I knew what I was doing pleased Sir K. I'm happy that I can actually maybe fulfill a bit of his want of a dominant woman from time to time. I can't wait to go full force Domme mode and see the reaction I get. You up for it Sir K? ;)