She's Alive!!!

Yes- I am still in the land of the living. I haven't abandoned you all. Due to a few issues recently I haven't had a chance to write as much. First and foremost- I blame the plague as the primary issue. Or at least it feels like that's what I have! Yes, I'm going to whine for a minute; bare with me. I have been sick nonstop pretty much since the year started. I had a cold- sore throat, all that crap for about a week; would wake up in the morning "Ahhhh! Finally feeling better." Go to sleep, wake up the next morning- BAM, twice as sick! Dammit!!! Over and over. So me being the stubborn bitch that I am, people would say "go to the doctor!" I'd say "no, I'm not sick! It's just allergies." Finally my boss forced me to go to the doctor because I came in completely deaf in one ear and had lost my voice. Come on!!! I don't have time to go to the doctor! Time is money! I can still hear out of my right ear! I have two ears for a reason! So after being sent to the doctor and forcefully confined to my house for a week- I'm starting to feel better. Thank God! OK- I'm done whining.



That's the main reason I've been absent. Another reason- I've written about 10 posts but don't feel they are good enough to post. It's not that I am lacking material! Hardly! I've had a few awesome experiences lately! Example: Sir K, a good friend of his also in the lifestyle-bi- gorgeous woman, me with rope cuffs on and hog tied. They tickle me to death and she holds me down while Sir spanks me and she gets in a few spanks as well! Soooo boring. Uh, I think not!!!! So why is it that I can't write about it?! My God- the closest I've ever gotten to having one of my biggest fantasies fulfilled and I can't write about it. It's pretty frustrating actually. I'd say these past few experiences have been some of my favorite- but I have writer's block! Maybe I've lost my mojo. No. Or I don't feel desirable. No. Well kinda- but that's my problem. I mean how many people have to tell you that you are sexy before you believe it Mariposa? Really! The only way to explain how I feel right now? Blah! Just blah. Unimpressed, undesirable, unmotivated (is that a word?), unaware- blah! I'm stumped at this point.


I'm falling asleep reading my posts, I'm boring myself with my own writing! So I think "are my readers as bored as I am? They probably are! They probably read and think same scene, different day. Boring!" I'm sad- have I lost my drive to write? I love to write! What is going on with me?! I almost feel like I've touched on every subject that I can when it comes to BDSM- even though I know it's not true. I also worry that you are all tired of hearing about my experiences. "Seriously? Another spanking session? Is that all you ever talk about?" I'm not bored by the spanking- Geez! You could spank me all night and I would be in heaven! But I wonder if others tire of it. Like Sir K- is he tired of spanking? Is he tired of being in control? Is he bored with me as a sub? Is he bored with ME?


I started trying to think of different things to focus on instead of my experiences. Maybe I should focus more on polyamory or submission in general. Maybe a question and answer format based on e-mails from readers. Advice? No- I'm not Dr. Phil. I'm stumped! I don't know what to do! So- can I ask you all for some advice? What do you enjoy reading? What have you liked the most on my blog? Maybe I just need some feedback from readers to get my creative juices flowing again. So please, do I really have to beg? Please! E-mail me, talk to me. Tell me what you enjoy. Are you tired of hearing the same old stuff? Or do you want me to continue? Have questions or ideas? Let me know- I love to hear from my readers.

mariposasmusings@gmail.com