When I first started my blog, I had no idea people would even be interested in my writing. I just saw it as a journal. A way to get my feelings out on paper so I could sort through them. I started blogging as a way to get advice from fellow kinksters. I thought if I put my experiences out there and asked questions, I was more likely to get answers than if I kept my writing hidden in a journal in my nightstand. So I started my blog! It wasn't until later that I realized my blog was being used as a learning tool for some. That wasn't my intention at ALL when I started!
When I started exploring BDSM, I did so much research online. Well, as much as I could. The only options out there are Wikipedia and a few sites that go over terminology. Wikidepia is really not a tool you want to use for just anything lol. Who knows what is true and what isn't on there! It's great that there are sites out there that teach you about the terminology, but I wanted more. I wanted to know about being a submissive. I wanted to hear others opinions and experiences. That is a hard thing to find online. The only blogs I found were of slaves, or about 24/7 relationships. That is completely different from how I and a lot express ourselves in this so called "lifestyle". So I decided that I could use my blog as a teaching tool. By sharing my experiences and knowledge of what I have learned, I help others learn. Over the past few months, my audience has skyrocketed! I have a feeling it has something to do with a certain book :) more on that book later. Either way- I'm happy I am getting the word out there about BDSM. I feel I am doing my part, no matter how small it is, to get the word out there about what BDSM TRULY is. I'm very lucky to have all of you who are interested :)
Now that my blog has become a little more popular- I have decided....I need a new home. I need my own website. So I am happy to say that I am working on my very own website as we speak. I'll post the link on here once I have it up and running. I am working on some new ideas for my site as well. I want my readers to be involved. I don't just want to sit and preach about BDSM- I'm not all knowing! This blog is just as much yours as it is mine now. You all have kept it going. So I have come up with a few ideas that will help my readers become more involved. That way you can put in your two cents and not have to have a blog of your own. You can write anonymously and get your opinions and questions out in the open. Here are some of the new features I will have on my blog.
Over the past few months, I've acquired quite a collection of toys. No I'm not talking Lego's and Barbie people! I'm talking adult toys. Dildos, plugs, vibrators, restraints. TOYS!!! A few years back I wasn't that into toys. I didn't see the draw. I'd tried a few and was not impressed. Then a friend introduced me to basically...the best of the best. Now I'm hooked! I started thinking, you know- what's a sex/BDSM blog without reviews? Especially when I have done so much research! I know my toys now. I went online and read every review possible before buying each toy I have. Let's just say some of them are not the cheapest. I wanted to make sure I was spending my money on something incredible. Every single one in my collection is fucking fantastic! So I want to share with you all. I want you to know what is out there and what is actually worth the money.
Once a month I will choose a toy from my collection and I will write a review on it. When I run out of toys.....guess I just have to go back to the store and buy more, huh ;) If any of you have suggestions- tell me!! I'd be happy to test them myself and write ALL about it. On my new blog look for the title Toyland for my reviews on toys.
50 Shades Unraveled
We've all heard of the horrendous monstrosity some call a book- Fifty Shades of Grey. If you haven't you are truly out of touch! It's everywhere! I avoided reading this book for a looooong time. I was not going to give into the whole hype. I hate reading books just because they happen to be popular. Especially when it has something to do with BDSM. I heard from fellow kinksters that it was horrible and gave a bad name to the community. Others said it wasn't so bad. Some said it wasn't realistic. Some were happy that the word was out there about BDSM no matter how kinksters were portrayed in the book. I still held out on reading it.
About four months ago I get an e-mail from a television station regarding my blog! WHAT!! I know- I was in shock. I thought it was a total joke. Come to find out they were doing a show about submissive women because of all the interest in the books Fifty Shades. They wanted to interview submissive women in the lifestyle and get the real scoop. They enjoyed my blog and thought I would be the perfect person to interview. At first I didn't want to do it solely because they were contacting me regarding some fictional portrayal of a D/s relationship. I hadn't read it but I felt very protective of my community. I thought "oh, NOW people are interested?! NOW it's OK to talk about?" But then I realized that it was my opportunity to show them what D/s is truly about. I wanted to show these vanilla folk that it isn't as horrid as they believe it to be.
I agreed to a phone interview. I went into the interview not knowing anything about the book. I wish I had read it before the interview. I would have had a LOT more to say about the differences between reality and this god forsaken book. Finally I decided to read the book. I figured if I was going to start writing reviews on my site, I'd better read the book that has probably made my blog so popular the past couple months. I know people are interested in it. So I bit the bullet and began to read the book. Oh. My. God. Needless to say I'm not only writing a review on the book- I'm devoting an entire section to my blog! I have quite a few HUGE problems with these books. I feel I have to set the record straight on a few things. So I will be writing a few posts on the books. I'm not sure how many at this point....I have yet to finish the book. I may find other issues I want to bring up. But for now I have two major issues- so I will be doing at least two posts on Fifty Shades. I will call it Fifty Shades Unraveled.
Ask an Ethical Slut
Dom problems? Sub issues? Poly drama? Swinging 101? You have questions, ask me and I'll do my best to give you helpful advice. A lot of my readers e-mail me asking questions about where they can find info regarding something. Some even message me asking for advice. I don't know why, but in life people have always come to me and apparently feel they can be open and honest without being judged. I mean my advice is no better than any one else's! But I will try my best :) I figured, why not answer some of those questions publicly on my blog? I'm sure others out there may have the same questions or concerns you might have. So I encourage you all to e-mail me with any questions you may have, or topics you think might be interesting for me to cover. Anything! Well, anything that pertains to D/s, polyamory, relationships and swinging. I think that covers it all :p
Think of me as a kinky Dear Abby :) I know a lot of you out there are new to this and honestly don't have anyone to talk to about issues when it comes to D/s or are just too afraid to ask because you might feel embarrassed. So why not e-mail me anonymously if you prefer and I will do my best to answer your questions or help you with concerns. I will choose one a month or so that I feel might be something others would be interested in hearing about and post my answer on the blog. If you do not want your question posted but do have something you would like to ask, just let me know in the e-mail. I will respect your wishes. I also would like to encourage all my readers to comment on posts. Again, I'm not all knowing- some of you may have more experience in an area than me and can better answer questions. You can e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Alright! I'm going to go work on my site some more so I can get that baby up and running :)